Dear Remy,

Let me start by saying that I love you, and it’s important you know this doesn’t change that. That being said, this has gone on for long enough and it’s time I addressed it. You gotta stop licking your dick and balls all the time, buddy.

I think we can agree that for the most part the last year of me working from home has gone pretty smoothly, and I’m grateful! I am! Spending all day everyday together for over a year is a lot, and it’s not like you can just open the door and take yourself for a…

During the pandemic millions of people have had to adjust to their jobs, schooling, childcare, and anything else that would regularly happen face-to-face being conducted pretty much entirely virtually. After over a year of living life under lockdowns, it’s to be expected that we’d all be feeling a little technology burnout. So to help reinvigorate your day-to-day, here are some alternative email sign-offs and signatures you might want to consider.

Stoically while staring out at the sea,

See you in Hell,

Baby bye bye bye (bye bye bye),

AAAAAAAHHHHHHH,

Stay fresh, cheese bags,

Await the signal,

Take care or else,

…

Although makeup artists on YouTube and beauty vloggers make it look super simple, anyone who’s attempted to do their own costume makeup will tell you that it is not easy. You have to be a master of symmetry, have the patience of a saint, the precision of a surgeon, and a pretty firm grasp on shading and color theory.

That’s why a lot of people go to school in order to become a pro at it, and why a lot of other folks just wear masks on Halloween — this shit is hard!

One woman, though, decided that she wanted…

If there’s one thing that everyone can agree on, it’s that sharks are cool as shit. They’re fast as hell, they’ve got hundreds of bitchin’ razor sharp teeth (except you, whale shark, but you still rule), even their skin is made up of essentially microscopic teeth, and just like your dependable best friend from elementary school, they haven’t really changed over the hundreds of millions of years they’ve been around.

Or so we thought!

Apparently over the last few million years, at least nine shark species off the coast of Australia and New Guinea have learned to walk behind our…

Over the course of the pandemic many people have adopted or begun fostering pets, both because lots of folks found themselves with way more time on their hands in lockdown and because everybody has been clinging to literally any form of socialization and anything that provides the slightest bit of joy in this ceaseless nightmare.

If you haven’t welcomed an animal companion into your life yet there is still time, and this might be the dog for you. So long as you’re not a man, or a child, or someone who lives with men or children, or who has other…

Season four of No Activity, the first fully animated season, is now streaming on Paramount+

Spelling mistakes and syntax errors aren’t anything new, they’ve been around for as long as humans have been writing words. For most of history though, one’s spelling mistakes (most likely) had a pretty limited audience. Unless you were writing a book or an article in a newspaper or something else publicly available, the only person who’d catch your goof-ups would be your beloved to whom you’re writing long, cursive love letters to, or whatever they did back in the sepia-tone days. …

It’s always good to see elected officials and civilians coming together to push for positive change, and focusing on issues that really matter.

This is not one of those times!

Earlier this week Alabama Rep. Jeremy Gray put forth Bill AL HB246, the purpose of this bill being to overturn a ban on yoga in public schools that has stood since in 1993. Let’s all take a deep breath in through the nose, out through the mouth, and then come to center to read that again.

Yoga has been banned in Alabama public schools since 1993

because — get ready for it —

that would promote Hinduism.

…